Hi there job hunters,
For years, my introduction ran on autopilot: "Hi, I'm Heidi, and I work at..." add then the company name.
You probably have one too.
It flowed so naturally because everyone around me did the same thing. And I had worked hard for years to earn that sentence, so I was proud of it.
Then I was laid off, and the second half of that sentence disappeared overnight.
The identity crisis nobody warned me about
I knew the layoff wasn't about my performance. It was the direction the company was going, and telling myself that is what helped me sleep at night.
What I wasn't ready for was the shift in who I got to be. I could no longer say where I worked or what I did. I had been a very driven professional, and suddenly I was in a kind of purgatory: still driven, with nothing to aim it at except finding something that truly mattered to me.
That is what an identity crisis after a layoff actually looks like. It isn't dramatic. It's the awkward pause after "So, what do you do?"
Finding someone who gets it
Recently I found Andrea Gyori on Substack, where she writes The Career and Life Coaching Café. Within minutes I noticed how closely her writing lines up with what I tell my clients. We both went through job changes that held a big piece of our identity, and we both write about rediscovering ourselves and carrying that into whatever comes next.
Two of her articles stuck with me. I'd love for you to read them.
Your Job Has Become Your Identity
Andrea describes how, over years, a job becomes the backdrop of our story, until we introduce ourselves through it. (Guilty.) Then she says the thing I wish someone had said to me: leaving a role that shaped you is a grief process, and that part of you deserves time, attention, and compassion.
The part that gave me hope is that what you built doesn't vanish. Your knowledge and experience stay with you, and stepping away can bring back pieces of yourself that were buried under a busy life. It remains your story, and you get to choose which pieces to carry into what's next.
You Left Your Old Job, But the Stress Came With You
This one is about what happens after you leave. Andrea writes that your mind can keep running in survival mode long after the toxic workplace is behind you, because it protects you based on what it remembers, not on what is true today.
Her answer is small, doable steps: notice what triggers you, name it as your old workplace talking, anchor yourself in what is true now, take small risks, and celebrate the little wins.
Here is where it gets personal for a lot of my clients. Picture a boss who read into every email, or needed to be in every meeting. You can leave that boss behind and still catch yourself bracing for the same thing in your next job. Getting past the grief of what you lost, and teaching yourself that you are safe now, is how you build the independence and the boundaries you'll want in your next role.
This is why Recovery comes first
Today, I run The Reset Framework, a three-step job search process: Recovery, Reflection, and Redesign. I made sure Recovery is the first step every client goes through, and this is exactly why.
Recovery is where we look at what you enjoyed in your last job, what happened, where you are today, and what you need to move forward. It's also your chance to reevaluate what your next role should look like, instead of grabbing the first thing that looks familiar.
It also takes your mental health into account. You are no longer being pulled into business requirements, and no one is handing you a performance review. Taking the breaks you need right now isn't slacking. It's part of recovering.
Try this today
Finish this sentence three different ways, without naming your employer or your job title: "I'm someone who..."
Write them down. Those answers are the first threads of your next role, and they are yours to keep no matter what happens to a job.
Join Andrea and me live on November 2
Andrea and I had such a rich conversation that we decided to share it. On Monday, November 2 at 11:00 AM CT, we are going live on Substack. We'll each tell our own job-loss story and ask each other questions, including what we wish we could tell our previous selves and what we think would help people looking for a job right now.
More details are coming soon.
I hope you can join us!
Your turn
How do you introduce yourself right now, and has it changed since your last job? Leave me a comment. I read every one.
And if you want an honest, outside view on your next move, [book a free discovery call here] (add link).
FAQ
Is it normal to feel lost after a layoff? Yes. When a job has been part of your identity for years, losing it can feel like losing a piece of yourself. Career coach Andrea Gyori describes leaving a long-held role as a grief process that deserves time and compassion.
How do I answer "What do you do?" after a layoff? Start from the work you enjoy rather than the company you left. Getting clear on that is the Recovery step of The Reset Framework.
Should I take a break before I start job searching? Taking the breaks you need is part of Recovery. Without business requirements or performance reviews pulling at you, you have room to decide what you want your next role to look like.
How do I stop carrying stress from my old job into a new one? Andrea Gyori suggests small steps: notice what triggers you, name it as your old workplace speaking, anchor yourself in what is true now, take small risks, and celebrate small wins.
What is The Reset Framework? A three-step job search process: Recovery (get clear on what you enjoyed, what you need, and what your next role should look like), Reflection (turn your experience into a resume that stands out), and Redesign (build a system to apply, interview, and answer recruiters consistently).
When is the live conversation with Andrea Gyori? Monday, November 2, 2026 at 11:00 AM CT, live on Substack.
